So, just as Chris left on a business trip for eight days, my mom decided it would be a good time to issue me the #monochromechallenge. Some people might have ignored the request. A better, more Pinteresty mom might have obliged with adorable pictures of grandbabies. Me? Nah. It’s my obligation as the “sassy one” to make my mother sorry she ever nominated me. (Yes, I realize I’m a 40-year-old woman. #Sorrynotsorry)
Jokingly, I told my mom my photos would probably be like something out of “The Blair Witch Project.” And then I realized: Hey, “Blair Witch” had crappy camera work. I’m a crappy photographer. “Blair Witch” made the ordinary seem creepy. My ordinary day is creepy (if you’re melodramatic about it, which, hello, I am!). Let’s do this thang.
In the woods with no guide. *I’m so scared.*
Everyone seems to be spoiling for a fight and our journey’s barely started.
Can’t sleep. It feels like there’s someone out there.
Our grocery store map got lost in the creek. We’re heading south, toward the checkout. My sincere apologies to all the Save-On Foods employees and customers who heard Henry screaming for his “prison buddy” (aka the loaf of bread I removed from the cart basket because he was punching it).
Turned my back for a minute and the campsite’s destroyed. I think somebody — or something — is out there stalking us. There’s a mysterious substance on all our dishes.
What fresh hell is this? (For the record, my perogies were actually mostly not cold in the middle and nobody cried. Much.)
Found me a legit monster. #Caillou
What monster did this? (No trace of the bananas was ever found.)
The map is long gone and the campers are beginning to turn on each other.
What’s this mysterious substance we keep finding all over the campsite?!
The peaches were in bad shape and now they’re missing altogether. I’M SO SCARED. (For the record, it was a delicious cobbler, no matter what my husband who asked me NOT to save him a piece says.)
We keep ending up in the same exact place. Are we walking in circles?
And what is with these weird figures we keep finding hanging in the forest?!
Nothing scarier than a 5-year-old who stayed up ’til 11 bopping downstairs right on schedule at breakfast time. The only explanation is the supernatural.
And now he’s completely vanished! Where could he be?
They won’t stop these games until I’m mentally destroyed.
Whoever finds the canisters, please note the time stamp: wine o’ clock.